Hey Sarah! It’s a pleasure to see you.
Hey Ben. It’s nice to see you too. How are you?
I’m fine, thank you. What about you?
I’m fine too. Thank you.
…Awkward silence and avoided eye contact.
This is how many of our conversations look like. A sad failed embarrassing attempt at “conversation” that is.
It is then followed by enquiring about work or about a family member and we discover everybody is fine and all hail a blissful disconnected world.
We are so bad at conversing in no-agenda situations that our attempt at gathering hundreds of connections on LinkedIn, thousands of followers on Instagram looks like a mere consolation to our declining ability to converse.
What we don’t realise is that conversing is not difficult at all. All it takes is a little bit of awareness and the right prompts to elicit responses from whoever we are facing. The secret of successful conversation lies in nothing but stories.
Everything we do can become a story if prompted for it. Stories are an integral part of our lives. If we imagine a routine conversation with family then we will see that it is nothing but sharing of stories.
Why not leverage this power of stories to have meaningful conversations even in unplanned situations.
Hey Sarah! It’s a pleasure to see you.
Hey Ben. I’m happy to see you too.
I hope you are well. Hey tell me about your trip to Kochi. I believe you were there last month.
I’m glad you brought it up because I’ve been dying to share so many stories about the trip….. The trip to Kochi then catches the blah blah express ;-)
There are many prompts we can use to start a conversation or keep one going. Try the following.
Tell me about… (the day, the time when…)
How did you… (meet so-and-so, decide to go on a solo road trip etc.)
What do you think about… (the venue, the news, any topic related to where you are or what you are doing.)
How did you… (like the local cuisine, manage to get a front row seat to the comedy gig… anything that you know the other person has done or is going to do.)
What did you do to… (get everybody to agree to the plan, get the vendor on board, anything that you know the other person has done.)
These prompts are sure to get fascinating responses and we can then continue with follow-up questions.
How did you feel about that?
Would you do it again if you had the chance?
What do you make of it?
Could you tell me more?
We have to be careful though. Our attempt at conversing can quickly turn into discomfort if we touch a sensitive nerve – political, controversial, or (deeply) personal.
Instead it is a safe bet to talk about achievements and broadcasts – which are things that generally come to be known in our social or professional networks which could include word of mouth, newsletters, LinkedIn, Facebook or even Instagram - of our conversation partner.
So be aware, take notes, and keep in mind some useful prompts to elicit responses.
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